I mean, this is totally and completely wrong . . . but weirdly amazing nonetheless . . .
How do you . . . take all your client's stuff . . . and live in her house? I mean, just gettin' the little old lady smell out would take some doing . . . but ewwww!!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Crap Parenting: Fairy Tales
Daughter loses one of her big front teeth . . .
Puts tooth in special pillow and makes a note for the tooth fairy. Wife goes to work and says: "You have to be the tooth fairy tonight!" Me: No problem!!
Me forget. I tell girl that tooth fairy must be busy, what with it being summer and all . . .
Next night: Same thing. Wife goes to work. I promise to be the tooth fairy. At 11 I say to self: "Okay remember to be tooth fairy". When I wake up I realize I did not do this thing . . .
Tell daughter (who is clearly used to disappointment in the realm of supernatural tooth collectors).
Then when daughter isn't looking, sneak into room, stick two dollars in the tooth fairy pillow and take the note . . . .
She liked that the tooth fairy came when she wasn't looking . . . .
Puts tooth in special pillow and makes a note for the tooth fairy. Wife goes to work and says: "You have to be the tooth fairy tonight!" Me: No problem!!
Me forget. I tell girl that tooth fairy must be busy, what with it being summer and all . . .
Next night: Same thing. Wife goes to work. I promise to be the tooth fairy. At 11 I say to self: "Okay remember to be tooth fairy". When I wake up I realize I did not do this thing . . .
Tell daughter (who is clearly used to disappointment in the realm of supernatural tooth collectors).
Then when daughter isn't looking, sneak into room, stick two dollars in the tooth fairy pillow and take the note . . . .
She liked that the tooth fairy came when she wasn't looking . . . .
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Crap Parenting: the little chickies come home to roost . . .
Actual quotes from my kids while flailing at double unders:
"Mess up again daddy!"
"Daddy can't jump rope."
and the ever present: "hahaha giggle haha!"
"Mess up again daddy!"
"Daddy can't jump rope."
and the ever present: "hahaha giggle haha!"
chipper chicken . . .
As rx'd, subs noted:
45 DUs
45 cleans @135 (95)
45 ring dips
45 DUs
The double unders at first were okay, 3-6 at a time so I knocked them out. the cleans were weird . . . I had really no trouble on the squat part . . .
Where I was sucking wind was the floor to the third pull. My grip was actually going and that really doesn't happen that often.
The ring dips were pretty okay 5's for the most part till the last 15-20 then breaking down fast. It was one of the times I could really feel it in my chest.
Second set of double unders just went all to heck. I got like 11 in a row and thought I was on fire and then couldn't get another more than 2-3. So at 30 I just went to tuck jumps.
I'm still not dying at the end of these. I think the problem is that Coach Glassman has really bumped up the WODs lately. Where I could do a reasonable pack workout before, and thrash myself, I think I need to re-eval and maybe move down again until I get to where I need to be. Check that ego at the door, as it were.
One week to the Cfit games. Yay.
45 DUs
45 cleans @135 (95)
45 ring dips
45 DUs
The double unders at first were okay, 3-6 at a time so I knocked them out. the cleans were weird . . . I had really no trouble on the squat part . . .
Where I was sucking wind was the floor to the third pull. My grip was actually going and that really doesn't happen that often.
The ring dips were pretty okay 5's for the most part till the last 15-20 then breaking down fast. It was one of the times I could really feel it in my chest.
Second set of double unders just went all to heck. I got like 11 in a row and thought I was on fire and then couldn't get another more than 2-3. So at 30 I just went to tuck jumps.
I'm still not dying at the end of these. I think the problem is that Coach Glassman has really bumped up the WODs lately. Where I could do a reasonable pack workout before, and thrash myself, I think I need to re-eval and maybe move down again until I get to where I need to be. Check that ego at the door, as it were.
One week to the Cfit games. Yay.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
In a fit of competition self defense . . .
I have entered "Wheelie" into the games. This is my second choice, after "Hoppy" the three legged dog . . . . this way I will not be last . . .
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Jackie . . .yeah I'll leave it at that . . .
Jackie and the Snatch Attack
1000 meter row
50 kettlebell snatches @ 24kg (16kg) Alternating arms.
30 pullups
11:04
Compare to regular Jackie on 2/19/08 at 10:19.
I'm not sure where I lost the time. I know my pullups rotted.
Also, I was intending on using our 20kg bell, since I didn't think I was up to rx'd on this. Picked it out, set it down, and someone came along while I was rowing and horked it. So I grabbed the first thing I could, which was the 16kg. So that part was fast. Went 10-10-10-10-5-5 each arm. Then the pullups just killed me. The games are going to be a . . . hmm what's a word for an unpleasant fiasco you paid to participate in. Yeah that.
1000 meter row
50 kettlebell snatches @ 24kg (16kg) Alternating arms.
30 pullups
11:04
Compare to regular Jackie on 2/19/08 at 10:19.
I'm not sure where I lost the time. I know my pullups rotted.
Also, I was intending on using our 20kg bell, since I didn't think I was up to rx'd on this. Picked it out, set it down, and someone came along while I was rowing and horked it. So I grabbed the first thing I could, which was the 16kg. So that part was fast. Went 10-10-10-10-5-5 each arm. Then the pullups just killed me. The games are going to be a . . . hmm what's a word for an unpleasant fiasco you paid to participate in. Yeah that.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Crap Parenting: Sweatin to the oldies
Me, attempting some dumb a** crossfit in the back yard: hhhmmeeaagh . . . pant pant
Daughter on swing next to me: "Daddy, you're all sweaty . . . except your lips . . . "
Thanks sweetie. Just remember when you go to bed, your toys are cute on the outside (mostly . . . when they're not creepy) but on the inside is this kinda business.
Daughter on swing next to me: "Daddy, you're all sweaty . . . except your lips . . . "
Thanks sweetie. Just remember when you go to bed, your toys are cute on the outside (mostly . . . when they're not creepy) but on the inside is this kinda business.
Yes, it did Suck and Blow
AMRAP 20
10 thrusters @65lb (45lbs)
10 pullups
10 rounds, + 10 thrusters
I hate my backyard pullup bar . . . .
I made it too low and too small. It's too small to grip well, so you (me) get blisters like I NEVER get at the gym. You just feel them tearing . . . ewwww.hate hate hate . . . must find someone to blame, but myself . . . 
And the thrusters were fine. I wanted to go fast, but the pull ups were too much on my time. I never did get thrashed like I wanted.
I need to retool the pullup bar.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Crap Parenting: The long shorts of it . . .
Because I think this means something, though I don't know what . . .
Daughter: Daddy will love these!!
Wife: I don't know . . .
Me: These are great!!!!
Yeah . . . those are Jolly Rogers all over them . . .
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Cricket ain't got nothin' on us . . .
Baseball is just weird . . . three strikes you're out, three outs, end of inning . . . but ours go to four.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Man . . . that KitchenAid brings the eyeballs
I had eight views of my KitchenAid pages yesterday . . .
Kind of sad really, what with bein' on the zone and all . . . that poor thing stands alone (get it, stand mixer . . . stands . . anyway . . )
I think I need the meat grinder attachment . . . yes, yes, I do . . . I can at least eat those . . . bun-less . . .
Kind of sad really, what with bein' on the zone and all . . . that poor thing stands alone (get it, stand mixer . . . stands . . anyway . . )
I think I need the meat grinder attachment . . . yes, yes, I do . . . I can at least eat those . . . bun-less . . .
Thursday, June 12, 2008
But for the Zone . . .
Update: Note to self: edit for clarity:
I'm sorry . . . Whoppers (the malted milk balls . . . not the burger) are food of the gods . . . . .besides, what is this article saying besides:
Don't eat the stuff they sell at the movie theatres . . . . . . you know, like popcorn . . cokes . . . candy.
I swear, stuff like this is annoying because . . . like cigarette cartons, they've been telling us for 20 years: "don't eat like this". Good for them. Like movies will be better with some celery. Oh, and while I'm on the subject . . . in cultures where Tofu is like, good, like China, and Japan . . . what do they make jokes about? Hot dogs? Just askin' . . . .
I'm sorry . . . Whoppers (the malted milk balls . . . not the burger) are food of the gods . . . . .besides, what is this article saying besides:
Don't eat the stuff they sell at the movie theatres . . . . . . you know, like popcorn . . cokes . . . candy.
I swear, stuff like this is annoying because . . . like cigarette cartons, they've been telling us for 20 years: "don't eat like this". Good for them. Like movies will be better with some celery. Oh, and while I'm on the subject . . . in cultures where Tofu is like, good, like China, and Japan . . . what do they make jokes about? Hot dogs? Just askin' . . . .
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Nancyboy
Nancy
5 rft
400 meter run
15 OHS @ 95lbs
Pack scale 65lbs.
15:54
Funny, I finished the exact same time as another guy in class. But he was faster on the OHS and I made up my time on the run. Interesting. I don't think I've done Nancy before. I'll need to check the wayback machine.
5 rft
400 meter run
15 OHS @ 95lbs
Pack scale 65lbs.
15:54
Funny, I finished the exact same time as another guy in class. But he was faster on the OHS and I made up my time on the run. Interesting. I don't think I've done Nancy before. I'll need to check the wayback machine.
Cleaned and Pulled . . . .
I don’t know what to call this workout other than “sold myself short” or somesuch.
amrap 20 minutes
12 hang squat cleans 65lbs
7 pullups
9 rounds + 7 cleans
I had seen the board and what was supposed to happen at the gym today. I had seen some guys I who’s abilities I know hit 9 and I thought that would be more than I could do, shot for 7 then found out we had 5 more minutes when I hit 7 . . .
Very happy with that.
Had some flubs on the cleans (didn’t go low enough) Did them over.
Broken as follows: First three rounds neither set broken. Then last six rounds pullups broken 4-3, cleans 8-4. Happy with that.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
And I thought having to drive our old Dodge Dart was punishment
I'm pretty sure each one of these is proof positive that 99% of everyone really doesn't understand "correlation does not mean causation".
Oh, and that men are really dumb when left to their own devices sometimes . . . .
Oh, and that men are really dumb when left to their own devices sometimes . . . .
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hey!! He was doing the public a service!!!
Oh man, this is goooooo-ooood!! Oh man oh man, where do I start? First: homeless . . . . but has a laptop . . .
Not exactly the kind of person I'm inclined to help. I think we call that "criminal without fixed abode".
Okay, but even better . . . on a site that ought to be called "SugarDaddy.com": Where you can snag yourself a millionaire!! First off, do "millionares" actually need a dating site? Second, how about the "grammy nomination". I mean, hello, you're on the internet . . . can't you look that stuff up?
But frankly, the best part . . . sending a millionare money. I mean, what sort of mental hurdle do you have to go through? Do you think you're buying a timeshare? Is it earnest money? Sorry, but I see nothing but greed here . . . and yet, this poor man, must bear the burden . . .
Ha! Still funny though.
Not exactly the kind of person I'm inclined to help. I think we call that "criminal without fixed abode".
Okay, but even better . . . on a site that ought to be called "SugarDaddy.com": Where you can snag yourself a millionaire!! First off, do "millionares" actually need a dating site? Second, how about the "grammy nomination". I mean, hello, you're on the internet . . . can't you look that stuff up?
But frankly, the best part . . . sending a millionare money. I mean, what sort of mental hurdle do you have to go through? Do you think you're buying a timeshare? Is it earnest money? Sorry, but I see nothing but greed here . . . and yet, this poor man, must bear the burden . . .
Ha! Still funny though.
Pull and push
Backyard Workout:
50 45lb thrusters
50 pullups
35 thrusters
35 pullups
20 thrusters
20 pullups
It was supposed to be wallball and pullups, but thrusters were the only sub I could manage at home and I didn't have dumbells so barbell it had to be.
25:25 it was kind of a crappy workout. I couldn't ever "get it going" i.e., stay anywhere near the edge of gassed. It was just a slog. Mostly the pullups. But then I switched to all straight bar till after the games. (Not that I had a choice at home, but hey).
I think there were a couple reasons for this: the scaling from the Plano, crossfit site (where I try to keep up with my homies) only listed a smaller weight ball for porch, and then assisted pullups for pack. I don't do unassisted. :-)
Also, I am using the straight bar and my backyard pullup bar leaves a little to be desired. But making excuses don't feed the bulldog or somesuch. Suck it up and drive on . . .
50 45lb thrusters
50 pullups
35 thrusters
35 pullups
20 thrusters
20 pullups
It was supposed to be wallball and pullups, but thrusters were the only sub I could manage at home and I didn't have dumbells so barbell it had to be.
25:25 it was kind of a crappy workout. I couldn't ever "get it going" i.e., stay anywhere near the edge of gassed. It was just a slog. Mostly the pullups. But then I switched to all straight bar till after the games. (Not that I had a choice at home, but hey).
I think there were a couple reasons for this: the scaling from the Plano, crossfit site (where I try to keep up with my homies) only listed a smaller weight ball for porch, and then assisted pullups for pack. I don't do unassisted. :-)
Also, I am using the straight bar and my backyard pullup bar leaves a little to be desired. But making excuses don't feed the bulldog or somesuch. Suck it up and drive on . . .
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Best job ev-ah?
No access to the high seas? No problem!!! Maybe they think they'll have a big space presence, a la Heinlein and get a SPACE NAVY!!! Whooohooo!! Kazaks in space!!!!
Memorial Day Murph
In case you wanna see some World Class Barfing . . . . Pukie does make an appearance. . . . and I was there!! Oh the humanity!!
Oh man . . . what about the guy who invented twinkies . . .
This is kinda cool . . . in a weird way . . .
One funny thing too, is that I am a big fan of another guy who helped make our national communist snack food (red can, all chips equal . . . ). Funny, went to school in Texas, made him some Pringles makers, then off and wrote a bunch of fantasy . . . nice work if you can get it.
One funny thing too, is that I am a big fan of another guy who helped make our national communist snack food (red can, all chips equal . . . ). Funny, went to school in Texas, made him some Pringles makers, then off and wrote a bunch of fantasy . . . nice work if you can get it.
Crap Parenting: Waaahhwaaaahhhwaaahwaahh
Wife to daughter: "So when is your real birthday?" (We were just talking about the party day being different from the actual date.)
Daughter: "um, (thinking), June 25!"
Me: "You have the perfect birthday!! Yourbirthdayisexactly6monthsfromchristmasandsoyouhaveperfectlyspacedallyoumajorgiftcelebrations,wherelikeyourmomandIhave tohavealloursbunchedintoacouplemonthsorlikemeallindecemberandyougetanicesummerparty"
Daughter: "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh"
(honest. She made the noise of incomprehension until I stopped talking . . . . )
Daughter: "um, (thinking), June 25!"
Me: "You have the perfect birthday!! Yourbirthdayisexactly6monthsfromchristmasandsoyouhaveperfectlyspacedallyoumajorgiftcelebrations,wherelikeyourmomandIhave tohavealloursbunchedintoacouplemonthsorlikemeallindecemberandyougetanicesummerparty"
Daughter: "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh"
(honest. She made the noise of incomprehension until I stopped talking . . . . )
Over head! Over head!
Crossfit Plano, TX wod: OHS 7x3
44-66-88-98-110-120-130(f)
Good stuff. W/U was 10 of the burpees I needed from yesterday and today . . . cool down was the other 25 and some OHS flexibility work (45lb bar hands together drop into squat) then Steve wanted to do a farmers carry (I did 2x24kg . . . will up it next time) around the building (400 yards) so someone asked what we were doing and I said "something stupid". It kinda was.
I think with some mental focus I could have got closer to the 130. It kind of freaked me out to have that weight overhead and then start dropping into a squat . . .
44-66-88-98-110-120-130(f)
Good stuff. W/U was 10 of the burpees I needed from yesterday and today . . . cool down was the other 25 and some OHS flexibility work (45lb bar hands together drop into squat) then Steve wanted to do a farmers carry (I did 2x24kg . . . will up it next time) around the building (400 yards) so someone asked what we were doing and I said "something stupid". It kinda was.
I think with some mental focus I could have got closer to the 130. It kind of freaked me out to have that weight overhead and then start dropping into a squat . . .
Monday, June 2, 2008
Crap Parenting: Scabby Knees . . . first in a series, I'm sure . .
Took the children grocery shopping. Rather, Wifey was sleeping, about ready to go to work as Supernurse, so I took the kids to the store.
Bargained some treats, refused others, etc. Kids were good.
Leave the store, I've got a cart full of food. The space I parked faces the sidewalk. It's around the side of the store but it's nice because the kids just get out of the car and walk to the sidewalk, relatively safely, and I don't have to worry about some knuckle head doing the parking lot rodeo coming from some unknown direction.
But I need to get the cart off the sidewalk to the trunk, and there's only one car between the curb I need to roll the cart off, and my car. So I send the kids between the cars to get in.
Mind you, they are only out of sight for 3 seconds as I walk around a car. But as I push the cart off the curb, I hear a blood curdling scream . . .
The girl has somehow tripped over the curb between the cars, and skinned a knee. Really not life threatening . . . but she's crying so I pick her up.
Meanwhile and for the life of me I don't know why this happens . . . the boy gets really really upset when girl cries. So he starts crying. He's in the car crying, I'm outside the car holding the crying girl and I look up and there's this boy on the sidewalk and he waves to me . . . hello?
I look again and it's the nextdoor neighbor boy . . . I look and my neighbor is in the spot opposite on the other side . . . so I'm nodding a kind of hello, both kids are screaming . . .
Nice.
Best part? This morning getting the kids ready for school and trying to figure out how to keep the girls' knee covered, but not interfere with the scrape . . .
Girl: "Can I wear shorts?"
Me: "Sure, if we can find some long enough . . . but why?"
Girls: "So I can show my friends my knee."
Me: "I love you. I am so proud of you. Yes, lets show off your scabby knee."
Bargained some treats, refused others, etc. Kids were good.
Leave the store, I've got a cart full of food. The space I parked faces the sidewalk. It's around the side of the store but it's nice because the kids just get out of the car and walk to the sidewalk, relatively safely, and I don't have to worry about some knuckle head doing the parking lot rodeo coming from some unknown direction.
But I need to get the cart off the sidewalk to the trunk, and there's only one car between the curb I need to roll the cart off, and my car. So I send the kids between the cars to get in.
Mind you, they are only out of sight for 3 seconds as I walk around a car. But as I push the cart off the curb, I hear a blood curdling scream . . .
The girl has somehow tripped over the curb between the cars, and skinned a knee. Really not life threatening . . . but she's crying so I pick her up.
Meanwhile and for the life of me I don't know why this happens . . . the boy gets really really upset when girl cries. So he starts crying. He's in the car crying, I'm outside the car holding the crying girl and I look up and there's this boy on the sidewalk and he waves to me . . . hello?
I look again and it's the nextdoor neighbor boy . . . I look and my neighbor is in the spot opposite on the other side . . . so I'm nodding a kind of hello, both kids are screaming . . .
Nice.
Best part? This morning getting the kids ready for school and trying to figure out how to keep the girls' knee covered, but not interfere with the scrape . . .
Girl: "Can I wear shorts?"
Me: "Sure, if we can find some long enough . . . but why?"
Girls: "So I can show my friends my knee."
Me: "I love you. I am so proud of you. Yes, lets show off your scabby knee."
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Crossfit Games Part Deux
Temps: 96.3 degrees, in Wylie, TX, 65 degrees in Aromas, CA (that's 35.7/18.3 for all y'all foreigners comin' ta visit - - - that'd be all y'all Scot-cicles . . . ). Though I need to work on my running. It's okay but being out for 30 minutes like today is not at ALL like being out in it for hours.
Following Kempie's lead, gonna do more in my warmups, treat it as additional work. so 3x10 pushups, squats, situps, pullups, ring dips.
Will do pullups all on straight bar till after July. They are a LOT stronger than they used to be. Maybe work me up some butterfly pu's as a skill practice.
And since my current goals are all close (but seemed to fargin far when I made them) I need to work on hspus. Time for some negs . . .
Following Kempie's lead, gonna do more in my warmups, treat it as additional work. so 3x10 pushups, squats, situps, pullups, ring dips.
Will do pullups all on straight bar till after July. They are a LOT stronger than they used to be. Maybe work me up some butterfly pu's as a skill practice.
And since my current goals are all close (but seemed to fargin far when I made them) I need to work on hspus. Time for some negs . . .
Jason
100 squats
5 mu (seated)
75 squats
10 mu
50 squats
15 mu
25 squat
20 mu
17:54
All muscle ups using the "seated" progression i.e. rings just above head when sitting on the ground, pull up, then use legs to assist transition. Still, those were tough, as the pulls don't allow any kip so it's all you baby . . . dead hang muscle ups. And foot position was crucial to both getting through the transition and not cheating . . . still 5 at a time was all I could manage. That sh** be hard. Or as we kindly refer to them "f***ing muscle ups", with all due affection, of course . . . .
5 mu (seated)
75 squats
10 mu
50 squats
15 mu
25 squat
20 mu
17:54
All muscle ups using the "seated" progression i.e. rings just above head when sitting on the ground, pull up, then use legs to assist transition. Still, those were tough, as the pulls don't allow any kip so it's all you baby . . . dead hang muscle ups. And foot position was crucial to both getting through the transition and not cheating . . . still 5 at a time was all I could manage. That sh** be hard. Or as we kindly refer to them "f***ing muscle ups", with all due affection, of course . . . .
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