Friday, January 11, 2008

Dive Bars part deux . . .


So previously, I went over a couple of the things you should have in a proper dive bar. Here are a couple more:

Drinks: In a word, beer. In two words: Native beer. The bar should sell the beer of your country. Furthermore, if there's a local beer, they should serve that too. Arguably, the "crappier" the better. I was once in a bar that served Schaefer Light on tap. I mean, serving Schaefer on tap was inspired. Serving Schaefer light was like genius inspired by wisdom. Yeah Buddy!!! (At some point down the quality scale, most American Lagers lose their taste anyway. Just man up and drink it.)

(Note: I could get into my discourse about beer. I once had an English professor who could wax eloquently about pens, and I mean, 15 minutes of the first class lecture. I can do the same with beer. I shall refrain momentarily.)

Food: I consider this an option. It isn't at all necessary, but some of my favorite divey places served food. Notably the pizza place mentioned previously. If the place has food, however, it needs something to set it apart. It should have some odd (not like pigs feet odd or pickled egg odd) thing or odd custom on the menu. For example, there's a place in Cleveland that puts the fries on your sandwich.

Music: This one's tough. There ought to be a jukebox, but I hesitate because that suggests you can come in and willy nilly play whatever you'd like. To me a dive bar has a personality expressed by its patrons, and like online forums, there's usually an unspoken set of rules that go along with what's played on the jukebox. Coming in like a noob and up and changing the music is a faux pas. True story: Was at the gym in the weight room. To say the population leaned heavily to the testosterone side of the population would give you the impression that there were more than just a handfull of women in there. Well, the weight room had its own music channel and was blasting out some good hard rock and metal. I swear to god this woman came in, got on the thigh master, heard the music, and immediately went back out, had it changed to something light rock/poppy. I mean, lady, please! We all liked what was playing! It was a perfect example of not taking into account what the group wanted overall.

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