Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The ten things I've done that you likely haven't

Scalzi made me do it:

1) Intentionally failed the Army's Air Assault course.
2) Became reasonably fluent in Persian/Farsi and then lost it (and I wasn't Iranian to begin with).
3) At 6', 200lbs, been the "littlest bouncer" (how cute!) at a Country Western Bar.
4) Worked at a bar Jack Ruby used to manage.
5) Taken a class from one of Ted Bundy's professors.
6) Taken a class from one of Lee Harvey Oswald's teachers . . .
7) Had a client who claimed his father helped with the assassination of JFK.
8) Had "The Bangles" sign my chest at a music store.
9) Been a roadie for an Ethiopian band.
10) Have Gwendolyn Brooks find your favorite literature "interesting".

2 comments:

mlah said...

the bangles signed your tits?

failed an army course on purpose? bet that has never happened before.

TexasPatrick said...

Yep, they did. Or rather the shirt I was wearing. Low cut, even. Ah, to be a man groupie . . .

And failing the army course was weirdly harder than it sounds: they kept giving me do-overs that got progressively easier, where at some point, I had to be so wildly ignorant of them saying things like "hmm, there maybe something you want to look at 'over here'" that I may as well not have been speaking English either. And this was an optional course, so I was supposed to be the best of the best of the best sir!!

And besides, the only test I had to pass was the one where I've done something YOU haven't. Can't be making up "oh, I bet someone, somewhere else, probably, maybe, does things like that, so, yeah" type stuff.