This shouldn't be as funny as it is . . .

http://www.feedsyndicate.com/articles/7009608834

I'm sorry, but it just lends itself to jokes like:

Is there a senior discount?
Could you get a nice little kickback, you know, some extra bingo swag, maybe an extra pudding cup, if you tipped the funeral home off to, um, "likely prospects"?
What's the price before 4:30 pm?
What's that they say about "location location location"?
Why do the call the people at the senior center "turtles"? "Because it takes them an average of 85 years to get across the street!"

Thank you!!! Don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses, even though there's a two drink minimum in addition to your cover charge . . . I'll be here all week!